Did I ever tell you that one of my favourite columnists to
read was Dave Barry
of
the Miami Herald? I also enjoyed following ESPN’s Bill Simmons
,
the ‘Sports Guy’. Both are generally intelligent, irreverent commentators on
the world going on around them. Even if I didn’t fully understand their every
political or sport reference, I certainly recognized a kindred spirit who would
prefer to skewer nonsense & laugh at it, rather than waste any time in angst
& useless hand-wringing.
Another thing that both columns had in common was a regular
“mail bag” feature, where the writers would field questions from their readers.
I highly suspect that most of the questions were faked, but life experience has
since taught me that average people really will ask the weirdest stuff with
little to no provocation. So maybe the questions were genuine instead of
perfect set-ups for the next crazy rant? I may never know the answer.
All of that to say this: Welcome to my very own, first of
its kind, Premiere Edition
Mail Bag
blog. Whoohoo! I won’t pretend that I’m in the same league as any professional
who actually draws a salary doing this kind of stuff, but hopefully, you will
enjoy my first Mail Bag as much as I have.
I must say, however, that I will maintain my general
commitment to honesty as I write, so all of my responses are genuine and only
one
of the following questions was faked.
Ready? Me, too!!!
Allons-y!!!
The inaugural question in my Mail Bag comes from Stephen K., who asks,
“What is an area of your life you would like to see growth in, and how can you
be going about it?”
Wow, way to swing for the fences, Stephen!!!!
I want to be stronger.
I want to be physically stronger, which is a challenge
because I am a lazy-bones by nature who is learning how to manage her chronic
pain and fatigue. Typical exercise that would build up an average person might
help me or might ignite a flare that exhausts all progress I have made, and
it’s anybody’s guess which outcome I’ll get. So I am trying to improve my diet
along the keto lines, and I go for walks with my dog when I am able.
I also want to be
emotionally stronger, or more resilient anyway, and I’ve seen a counselor a few
times in the recent past to give me a good nudge in the right direction. I have
a group of friends that I trust and have learned to reach out to, including my
handsome husband. Most importantly, I keep working on my spiritual strength
through a daily walk with my Saviour, prayer, and attending my church’s
services as often as I can.
One of my 7 or 8 regular readers, Rachel B., asks, “What is something
that has been meaningful to you in your life? (A quote, book, song, etc?)”
I’m going to go with ‘meaningful song’ in this category, and
share my #1, all-time, absolute favourite song with you:
Solsbury Hill,
by Peter Gabriel. This song was originally released in 1977 on Gabriel’s first “car”
album, and has been in my personal Top-5 for over 30 years now. I had the
privilege of seeing Peter Gabriel perform live in concert in Vancouver, BC on
his “Secret World” tour (+/- 1994?) and I cried tears of sheer joy throughout the
entire performance of
Solsbury Hill.
I’d already been in love with this song for many years
before I accepted Christ as my Saviour. After that, the lyrics of
Solsbury Hill took on even greater
significance. The imagery of the writer being called “son”, being brought home,
of leaving every good thing behind in favour of great things to come… it feels
lovingly profound to me.
New and very welcome reader, Alexandra H., asks, “What made you decide
to start a blog?”
The short answer is that as my 50th birthday was
approaching earlier this year, two of my very best friends suggested that I share
some personal trivia and anecdotes to commemorate the milestone. I’d also had a
handful of other friends tell me how much they enjoyed reading some of my
adventures that I’d posted on Facebook. I’ve always enjoyed writing so blogging
definitely appealed to my vanity.
Evie S. had a great question: “What does a "normal" day look
like for you?”
Normal? Hahahahahahahahaha, like anything about me was ever ‘normal’!!!
However, I do experience days like these on a regular basis:
Day A: I wake up
around 8am, read my Bible and pray before my feet hit the floor, and then I
toddle off to the shower. By 9-ish, I’m puttering in the kitchen with the
coffee pot going. I check in with assorted children and see what they’re up to
around the house, I might take the dog for a walk, and then I waste a little
time with Facebook or some games. I wash the dishes, I do some laundry, I prep
dinner… time passes in mundane housewife pursuits… dinner is cooked, served,
enjoyed (I hope) and tidied up. Might watch a movie with the kids till bedtime,
or might mow the lawn, or do other quiet home-body stuff like that.
Day B: everything
hurts, I hate the world, I have a good cry and go back to bed. Try again
tomorrow.
School starts up in September again, so I’ll also have lots
of Day C’s: wake up at 7am,
everything hurts and I hate the world, read my Bible and pray before my feet
hit the floor, and then I toddle off to the shower. By 8-ish, I am caffeinated
and we are driving 35+ minutes to the school, then I will come home and have a
good cry and go back to bed till lunch. I might take the dog for a walk, then I
prep dinner, and then I leave at 2pm to head back to the school for pickup. I
spend 4pm-6pm cooking dinner and chasing my children around the house to get
their chores done, I abandon the mess afterward till the next day, and the kids
watch a movie till bedtime while I’m already in my bed, exhausted.
Rachel B. also asks, “What is your favourite family tradition, and one
you’d like to start?”
My favourite family tradition so far would have to be how we
stretch out my kids’ birthdays over a week and a half of festivities. First, on
the actual day of the birthday, Celebrating Child and I go out for a special
breakfast at Denny’s. When they were little, the kids each took great delight
in showing the server their very own passport with their birthday marked on it;
now that they’re older, I think we all just appreciate having the other’s
undivided attention for a while.
Odds are 6-1 that the birthday will fall on a socially
awkward day since there’s only one Saturday each week, so the birthday party is
usually on the weekend following so that their grandparents can attend. I try
to make whatever the child would like for their birthday dinner, I love to make
a special cake by request, and of course there are lots of treats and presents.
We start around 4pm and go late into the night.
As for a tradition I’d like to start: this one is a
continuation of the “birthday” theme. The day will come when I die (sad, but
true nonetheless. Possibly next Tuesday). Go ahead, family, and have a nice,
traditional, boring funeral for me. But on what would have been my next
birthday, throw me one last party! Laugh, sing, tell crazy stories of my past
shenanigans, cry if you really think you need to but more than anything,
celebrate that I lived.
This idea was inspired by my mother’s passing. Ahhhh, my
mom. A loveable curmudgeon, who despised celebrating her own birthday. Wouldn’t
do it for love or money! In fact, because I told her that we were going to
celebrate her 75th birthday as the awesome milestone that it would
be, she dug in her heels and told me that it would be “over her dead body”. I suppose
she meant it facetiously, but then she promptly died four months before her
birthday. The sheer nerve of the woman!!!! (Don’t get all wound up at my
irreverence; if you knew Mom, you’d know she’d laugh at that.)
Since Mom hated birthday parties, and she hated balloons,
and cake & ice cream, and silly hats… and since she herself said we could
do it over her dead body… my husband & I, our 4 kids, mom’s brother, and
mom’s sister & brother-in-law threw that party literally over her “dead
body”. We put the urn with her ashes under the dining room table, stuck a silly
hat on the thing, and proceeded to eat all of her cake and ice cream at her
last birthday party. We cried, we laughed, we grieved and healed together.
At
one point, someone mentioned how sad it was that my uncle’s wife couldn’t be
with us (she had predeceased Mom by about 6 months), because wouldn’t Aunty Pam
have thought this was a hoot? So my uncle went and got the urn with her ashes,
too, and stuck it under the table next to mom’s. Yay, now we were all there!!!
It was great. So much better than the serious stuff.
Stephen K. also asks, “What's your favourite serious movie? Favourite
love story? Favourite comedy?”
Ooooohhhh, these are fun questions. I think I’ll answer all
three. (Descriptions shamelessly stolen from IMDB.com)
My favourite
serious
movie:
Uncommon Valor, starring
Gene Hackman. 1983, “R”
Ten years after his son went M.I.A. in Vietnam, U.S. Marine retired Colonel
Jason Rhodes assembles a private rescue team to find Americans held in P.O.W.
camps in Laos.
I have seen this movie over 50 times since I first watched
it in my mid-teens, and I’m not usually a “war movie” type. What struck me then
and has stuck with me since is the intense fear, hope, duty, and compassion
that each member of the team has to personally confront as he prepares for and
participates in the mission. There are scenes in this movie that are hard on
the eyes, ears, and mind but they serve a greater purpose in driving the story.
I would definitely share this with my own children, but I’ll wait till they’re
older.
A great
love story:
The Choice, starring Benjamin Walker
and Teresa Palmer. 2016, “PG-13”
Travis and Gabby first meet as neighbors in a small coastal town and wind up in
a relationship that is tested by life's most defining events.
Was this a trick question? Because up until a year ago, I
would’ve said, “I haven’t got one. Romances are dumb.”
I was stumped to come up with a title for you,
Stephen. So I googled “best romantic movies ever” or some such for inspiration
and ended up at IMDB’s list
of the best 103 they had to offer. I stopped reading the list after the first
five entries because, yes, I’ve seen them and *gasp!* I can’t stand any of
them.
However, I find that I’ve mellowed lately, and my increasingly
jaded heart has been seeking lighter fare complete with a happy ending à la
Hallmark. I can’t say that the noted movie is a favourite necessarily, but I
watched it a couple of days ago and laughed & cried through most of it. I thoroughly
enjoyed the whole experience.
My favourite
comedy:
El Dorado, starring John Wayne,
Robert Mitchum, and James Caan. 1967, not rated.
Cole Thornton, a gunfighter for hire, joins forces with an old friend, Sheriff
J.P. Hara. Together with an old Indian fighter and a gambler, they help a
rancher and his family fight a rival rancher that is trying to steal their
water.
Years ago, a friend of mine told me that if I only ever
watched one John Wayne ‘cowboy’ movie in my life, it absolutely had to be El Dorado. He was right. This classic
western may not strictly be classified as a comedy but I sure wouldn’t say it’s
a drama, or suspense, or whatever else you want to pick. A critic might say
that director Howard Hawks was ripping off his own work of Rio Bravo, and many grumps in the cheap seats have said exactly
that, but I don’t care because I like El
Dorado and it makes me happy. Good enough for me.
Mrs. Beisser’s nicest daughter, ‘R.’ asks, “What is your favourite
summer activity, and why?”
Easy-peasy!! My favourite summery thing to do is fire up the
barbecue, cook up loads of yummy stuff, and share it all with family and
friends in my backyard. I’m also a fan of picnics in general, but I especially
like prepping the goodies and then having my handsome husband get the grill
going. I love the sharing and the munching and the time spent with people who
matter most to me.
Justin T. from Ottawa asks, “Would you consider running for public
office this fall?”
I might consider running away from one, but no, I definitely
would never want to stand for election for anything. The less authority and
influence I’ve got, the better for all involved. No one in their right mind
would even ask me to do so.
For one thing, I’m no democrat. I don’t believe that people
collectively know what’s best for themselves, I don’t think that decisions
should be made solely to please the masses, and I no longer have the patience
to play well with others. I’d be a good dictator, though. I’d be nice about it.
Seriously, can you imagine me making public policy on
anything? I’d give Louis Riel a knighthood and offer to hang Lucien Bouchard for
treason. I’d probably try to make laws like “everyone needs to wear a hat when
it rains”, or let everybody have their birthday off work with pay, or declare
war on Iguanastan
.
I am truly thankful for our opportunity to participate in
free elections in Canada, however flawed or goofy our system may seem at times.
It’s a privilege and a civic responsibility that I take seriously. I’ve taken
my children with me to nearly every polling place I’ve gone to over the past
years – I want them to know how precious it is to have a voice of any kind.
Well, this was a ton of fun for me! I also enjoyed experimenting with the use of footnotes in a blog, and I can say with some confidence now that they're not great in this format.
Remember to keep an eye out for your Voter Information Card
in your own Mail Bag this fall.
~ 30 ~
