Thursday, 1 August 2019

Mail Bag ~ July 2019


Did I ever tell you that one of my favourite columnists to read was Dave Barry[1] of the Miami Herald? I also enjoyed following ESPN’s Bill Simmons[2], the ‘Sports Guy’. Both are generally intelligent, irreverent commentators on the world going on around them. Even if I didn’t fully understand their every political or sport reference, I certainly recognized a kindred spirit who would prefer to skewer nonsense & laugh at it, rather than waste any time in angst & useless hand-wringing.

Another thing that both columns had in common was a regular “mail bag” feature, where the writers would field questions from their readers. I highly suspect that most of the questions were faked, but life experience has since taught me that average people really will ask the weirdest stuff with little to no provocation. So maybe the questions were genuine instead of perfect set-ups for the next crazy rant? I may never know the answer.

All of that to say this: Welcome to my very own, first of its kind, Premiere Edition Mail Bag blog. Whoohoo! I won’t pretend that I’m in the same league as any professional who actually draws a salary doing this kind of stuff, but hopefully, you will enjoy my first Mail Bag as much as I have.  I must say, however, that I will maintain my general commitment to honesty as I write, so all of my responses are genuine and only one[3] of the following questions was faked.

Ready? Me, too!!! Allons-y[4]!!!

The inaugural question in my Mail Bag comes from Stephen K., who asks, “What is an area of your life you would like to see growth in, and how can you be going about it?”

Wow, way to swing for the fences, Stephen!!!!

I want to be stronger.

I want to be physically stronger, which is a challenge because I am a lazy-bones by nature who is learning how to manage her chronic pain and fatigue. Typical exercise that would build up an average person might help me or might ignite a flare that exhausts all progress I have made, and it’s anybody’s guess which outcome I’ll get. So I am trying to improve my diet along the keto lines, and I go for walks with my dog when I am able.

I also want to be emotionally stronger, or more resilient anyway, and I’ve seen a counselor a few times in the recent past to give me a good nudge in the right direction. I have a group of friends that I trust and have learned to reach out to, including my handsome husband. Most importantly, I keep working on my spiritual strength through a daily walk with my Saviour, prayer, and attending my church’s services as often as I can.

One of my 7 or 8 regular readers, Rachel B., asks, “What is something that has been meaningful to you in your life? (A quote, book, song, etc?)”

I’m going to go with ‘meaningful song’ in this category, and share my #1, all-time, absolute favourite song with you: Solsbury Hill[5][6], by Peter Gabriel. This song was originally released in 1977 on Gabriel’s first “car” album, and has been in my personal Top-5 for over 30 years now. I had the privilege of seeing Peter Gabriel perform live in concert in Vancouver, BC on his “Secret World” tour (+/- 1994?) and I cried tears of sheer joy throughout the entire performance of Solsbury Hill.

I’d already been in love with this song for many years before I accepted Christ as my Saviour. After that, the lyrics of Solsbury Hill took on even greater significance. The imagery of the writer being called “son”, being brought home, of leaving every good thing behind in favour of great things to come… it feels lovingly profound to me.

New and very welcome reader, Alexandra H., asks, “What made you decide to start a blog?”

The short answer is that as my 50th birthday was approaching earlier this year, two of my very best friends suggested that I share some personal trivia and anecdotes to commemorate the milestone. I’d also had a handful of other friends tell me how much they enjoyed reading some of my adventures that I’d posted on Facebook. I’ve always enjoyed writing so blogging definitely appealed to my vanity.

Evie S. had a great question: “What does a "normal" day look like for you?”

Normal? Hahahahahahahahaha, like anything about me was ever ‘normal’!!! However, I do experience days like these on a regular basis:

Day A: I wake up around 8am, read my Bible and pray before my feet hit the floor, and then I toddle off to the shower. By 9-ish, I’m puttering in the kitchen with the coffee pot going. I check in with assorted children and see what they’re up to around the house, I might take the dog for a walk, and then I waste a little time with Facebook or some games. I wash the dishes, I do some laundry, I prep dinner… time passes in mundane housewife pursuits… dinner is cooked, served, enjoyed (I hope) and tidied up. Might watch a movie with the kids till bedtime, or might mow the lawn, or do other quiet home-body stuff like that.

Day B: everything hurts, I hate the world, I have a good cry and go back to bed. Try again tomorrow.

School starts up in September again, so I’ll also have lots of Day C’s: wake up at 7am, everything hurts and I hate the world, read my Bible and pray before my feet hit the floor, and then I toddle off to the shower. By 8-ish, I am caffeinated and we are driving 35+ minutes to the school, then I will come home and have a good cry and go back to bed till lunch. I might take the dog for a walk, then I prep dinner, and then I leave at 2pm to head back to the school for pickup. I spend 4pm-6pm cooking dinner and chasing my children around the house to get their chores done, I abandon the mess afterward till the next day, and the kids watch a movie till bedtime while I’m already in my bed, exhausted.

Rachel B. also asks, “What is your favourite family tradition, and one you’d like to start?”

My favourite family tradition so far would have to be how we stretch out my kids’ birthdays over a week and a half of festivities. First, on the actual day of the birthday, Celebrating Child and I go out for a special breakfast at Denny’s. When they were little, the kids each took great delight in showing the server their very own passport with their birthday marked on it; now that they’re older, I think we all just appreciate having the other’s undivided attention for a while.

Odds are 6-1 that the birthday will fall on a socially awkward day since there’s only one Saturday each week, so the birthday party is usually on the weekend following so that their grandparents can attend. I try to make whatever the child would like for their birthday dinner, I love to make a special cake by request, and of course there are lots of treats and presents. We start around 4pm and go late into the night.

As for a tradition I’d like to start: this one is a continuation of the “birthday” theme. The day will come when I die (sad, but true nonetheless. Possibly next Tuesday). Go ahead, family, and have a nice, traditional, boring funeral for me. But on what would have been my next birthday, throw me one last party! Laugh, sing, tell crazy stories of my past shenanigans, cry if you really think you need to but more than anything, celebrate that I lived.

This idea was inspired by my mother’s passing. Ahhhh, my mom. A loveable curmudgeon, who despised celebrating her own birthday. Wouldn’t do it for love or money! In fact, because I told her that we were going to celebrate her 75th birthday as the awesome milestone that it would be, she dug in her heels and told me that it would be “over her dead body”. I suppose she meant it facetiously, but then she promptly died four months before her birthday. The sheer nerve of the woman!!!! (Don’t get all wound up at my irreverence; if you knew Mom, you’d know she’d laugh at that.)

Since Mom hated birthday parties, and she hated balloons, and cake & ice cream, and silly hats… and since she herself said we could do it over her dead body… my husband & I, our 4 kids, mom’s brother, and mom’s sister & brother-in-law threw that party literally over her “dead body”. We put the urn with her ashes under the dining room table, stuck a silly hat on the thing, and proceeded to eat all of her cake and ice cream at her last birthday party. We cried, we laughed, we grieved and healed together. 

At one point, someone mentioned how sad it was that my uncle’s wife couldn’t be with us (she had predeceased Mom by about 6 months), because wouldn’t Aunty Pam have thought this was a hoot? So my uncle went and got the urn with her ashes, too, and stuck it under the table next to mom’s. Yay, now we were all there!!!

It was great. So much better than the serious stuff.

Stephen K. also asks, “What's your favourite serious movie? Favourite love story? Favourite comedy?”

Ooooohhhh, these are fun questions. I think I’ll answer all three. (Descriptions shamelessly stolen from IMDB.com)

My favourite serious movie: Uncommon Valor, starring Gene Hackman. 1983, “R”
Ten years after his son went M.I.A. in Vietnam, U.S. Marine retired Colonel Jason Rhodes assembles a private rescue team to find Americans held in P.O.W. camps in Laos.

I have seen this movie over 50 times since I first watched it in my mid-teens, and I’m not usually a “war movie” type. What struck me then and has stuck with me since is the intense fear, hope, duty, and compassion that each member of the team has to personally confront as he prepares for and participates in the mission. There are scenes in this movie that are hard on the eyes, ears, and mind but they serve a greater purpose in driving the story. I would definitely share this with my own children, but I’ll wait till they’re older.

A great love story: The Choice, starring Benjamin Walker and Teresa Palmer. 2016, “PG-13”
Travis and Gabby first meet as neighbors in a small coastal town and wind up in a relationship that is tested by life's most defining events.

Was this a trick question? Because up until a year ago, I would’ve said, “I haven’t got one. Romances are dumb.”  I was stumped to come up with a title for you, Stephen. So I googled “best romantic movies ever” or some such for inspiration and ended up at IMDB’s list[7] of the best 103 they had to offer. I stopped reading the list after the first five entries because, yes, I’ve seen them and *gasp!* I can’t stand any of them.

However, I find that I’ve mellowed lately, and my increasingly jaded heart has been seeking lighter fare complete with a happy ending à la Hallmark. I can’t say that the noted movie is a favourite necessarily, but I watched it a couple of days ago and laughed & cried through most of it. I thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience.

My favourite comedy: El Dorado, starring John Wayne, Robert Mitchum, and James Caan. 1967, not rated.
Cole Thornton, a gunfighter for hire, joins forces with an old friend, Sheriff J.P. Hara. Together with an old Indian fighter and a gambler, they help a rancher and his family fight a rival rancher that is trying to steal their water.

Years ago, a friend of mine told me that if I only ever watched one John Wayne ‘cowboy’ movie in my life, it absolutely had to be El Dorado. He was right. This classic western may not strictly be classified as a comedy but I sure wouldn’t say it’s a drama, or suspense, or whatever else you want to pick. A critic might say that director Howard Hawks was ripping off his own work of Rio Bravo, and many grumps in the cheap seats have said exactly that, but I don’t care because I like El Dorado and it makes me happy. Good enough for me.

Mrs. Beisser’s nicest daughter, ‘R.’ asks, “What is your favourite summer activity, and why?”

Easy-peasy!! My favourite summery thing to do is fire up the barbecue, cook up loads of yummy stuff, and share it all with family and friends in my backyard. I’m also a fan of picnics in general, but I especially like prepping the goodies and then having my handsome husband get the grill going. I love the sharing and the munching and the time spent with people who matter most to me.

Justin T. from Ottawa asks, “Would you consider running for public office this fall?”

I might consider running away from one, but no, I definitely would never want to stand for election for anything. The less authority and influence I’ve got, the better for all involved. No one in their right mind would even ask me to do so.

For one thing, I’m no democrat. I don’t believe that people collectively know what’s best for themselves, I don’t think that decisions should be made solely to please the masses, and I no longer have the patience to play well with others. I’d be a good dictator, though. I’d be nice about it.

Seriously, can you imagine me making public policy on anything? I’d give Louis Riel a knighthood and offer to hang Lucien Bouchard for treason. I’d probably try to make laws like “everyone needs to wear a hat when it rains”, or let everybody have their birthday off work with pay, or declare war on Iguanastan[8].

I am truly thankful for our opportunity to participate in free elections in Canada, however flawed or goofy our system may seem at times. It’s a privilege and a civic responsibility that I take seriously. I’ve taken my children with me to nearly every polling place I’ve gone to over the past years – I want them to know how precious it is to have a voice of any kind.

Our next federal election should pop up on or before October 21, 2019. Please confirm your eligibility to vote, or update your information, here: https://www.elections.ca/content.aspx?section=vot&dir=reg&document=index&lang=e

Well, this was a ton of fun for me! I also enjoyed experimenting with the use of footnotes in a blog, and I can say with some confidence now that they're not great in this format.

Remember to keep an eye out for your Voter Information Card in your own Mail Bag this fall.

~ 30 ~





[1] Link that should aim you toward lots of Dave Barry goodies: https://blogs.herald.com/
[3] Let me know if you figured out which question was bogus.
[4] Allons-y means “Let’s go!” in French. No, I am not really bilingual. I know just enough French to embarrass myself in both of my national official languages.
[5] If I did this correctly, this should be a YouTube link to the best video of Solsbury Hill: https://youtu.be/WeYqJxlSv-Y
[6] If you’re in the mood for some trivia on this song, check out https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solsbury_Hill_(song)
[7] Internet Movie Data Base’s list of the Best Romantic Movies of All Time: https://www.imdb.com/list/ls050296477/.
[8] That’s not a real place. But if it were, I’m sure the iguanas would be foul, soulless anarchists who had it coming.

2 comments:

  1. I absolutely loved reading this! You have such a great way of making everything you write interesting.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind comment!! I hope that you'll consider subscribing / following me for more. Cheers!

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